How to tell that you are a stable couple

  1. You get a reassuring hug when soiling yourself while playing Twister.
  2. Your molds, skin tags and rashes are not gross anymore; instead they are an intricate part of your love life.
  3. No need to take part in every threesome offered – sometimes watching TV instead is perfectly fine.
  4. Don’t need to reaffirm your relationship by going to the theatre and suffering through every dimwitted Julia Roberts movie released.
  5. When you visit your respective mothers, it’s perfectly acceptable to refer to her as hag, witch or crone. Nor is it improper to hide crap in her couch – it’s almost expected.
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