Important things I learned today

  1. There’s no point in pickling cucumbers if you only eat bacon.
  2. Having a hot girlfriend strip you down with her eyes is much better than getting naked with grandma in the hot tub.
  3. You will probably not make very many friends if they can smell you from a mile away.
  4. Amsterdam is famous for its tulips and for the drug addicts that eat them.
  5. You are most likely in a remote cabin if someone wearing a ski mask is trying to cut you in half with a chainsaw.
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