Issues I which politicians would focus their energy on a bit more

  1. Do we really need turn signals on our cars? People rarely use them anyway, and the people that do simply turn them on when they leave their driveway only to turn them off when they arrive at their destinations.
  2. Shouldn’t it be made mandatory that women who wear ridiculously small bikinis at public pools also carry color coded balloons – indicating if they mind being gawked at or not? It would relieve so much stress and anxiety for all parties if this idea was implemented.
  3. In order to create a sense of community and belonging in big cities: why not have weekend hangings off annoying people? Surely you must know a few cab drivers, grocery store clerks and bartenders that we would all do better without?
  4. Please deal with nonsense on TV, especially primetime award shows. Instead of mindless cackling and strutting – make it a law that the loser of each category is administered a brutal beating. Make it interesting! Make the world a better place – it’s easy!
  5. Tax crappy tattoos! Seriously, no one needs to see a rose that looks like it has been drawn by a third-grader or a 400-pound Snoopy on a fat housewife’s ass.
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