Lies that your ex-girlfriend has made up about you

  1. “He was a good enough lover despite being hung like a toy poodle.”
  2. “He preferred using my lady shaver when removing hair from his feet and back.”
  3. “He was wet nursed by his grandmother until he was 12.”
  4. “He would when slow-dancing always insist on being called Erica.”
  5. “He always very carefully examined his handkerchief after blowing his nose.”
  6. “He always sat down when going pee because his penis scared him.”
  7. “He had this secret fetish about being spanked with rhubarb.”
  8. “He talks in his sleep, and always about how much he enjoys milking koalas.”
  9. “He got great satisfaction from secretly using other people’s toothbrushes.”
  10. “He would when passing gas, always say, ‘good one!’”
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