- Life is good when you find that girlfriend who is one in a million, or the one who is willing to do anything for a couple of bucks.
- Life is good when you have an alligator for a girlfriend and it knows how to do amazing things with its teeth and tail.
- Life is good after grandma has shown your girlfriend how to deep throat a 2-litre Coke bottle.
- Life is good when you get to push your girlfriend down into a well when she is being a nagging and whining little bitch.
- Life is good when the first couple of dates are over with and you get to ungag and untie your new girlfriend.
- Life is good when sharing a bath with your girlfriend and she doesn’t smell like cabbage and no mysterious flaky bits peel off her body.
- Life is good when you experience love at first sight: like seeing your-wife-to-be swallowing a 13-pound salmon without gagging.
- Life is good when you have an understanding girlfriend who doesn’t question you about the rash on your balls that you got from that goat in Egypt.
- Life is good when your girlfriend is a filthy-rich-sexual-deviant-sword-swallowing-contortionist and nymphomaniac: who worships you like God.
