Life is good – girlfriend

  1. Life is good when you find that girlfriend who is one in a million, or the one who is willing to do anything for a couple of bucks.
  2. Life is good when you have an alligator for a girlfriend and it knows how to do amazing things with its teeth and tail.
  3. Life is good after grandma has shown your girlfriend how to deep throat a 2-litre Coke bottle.
  4. Life is good when you get to push your girlfriend down into a well when she is being a nagging and whining little bitch.
  5. Life is good when the first couple of dates are over with and you get to ungag and untie your new girlfriend.
  6. Life is good when sharing a bath with your girlfriend and she doesn’t smell like cabbage and no mysterious flaky bits peel off her body.
  7. Life is good when you experience love at first sight: like seeing your-wife-to-be swallowing a 13-pound salmon without gagging.
  8. Life is good when you have an understanding girlfriend who doesn’t question you about the rash on your balls that you got from that goat in Egypt.
  9. Life is good when your girlfriend is a filthy-rich-sexual-deviant-sword-swallowing-contortionist and nymphomaniac: who worships you like God.
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