Miracles I have performed that could make me a saint in the future
- I polished off a bottle of Talisker and some Belgian monastery beers, and still cooked a turkey dinner!
- When I was 18 I could hold an erection for hours on end and still line dance without any problems what so ever.
- One of the women lost her bikini top during water gym at our pool, and I didn’t stare or smile for more than 2 minutes!
- When our neighbor’s house burned to the ground, and threatened ours: I didn’t take The Lord’s name in vain more than 349 times!
- I didn’t marry my first real girlfriend even though she could suck dry a soaked cardigan (or anything else) in less than a minute, if simply asked kindly.
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