Moments of pride you rarely hear expressed

  1. “I have finally made a home brew that tastes as good as a crappy commercial beer.”
  2. “For over a year now I haven’t felt the urge to have romantic relations with my girlfriend’s Golden Retriever.”
  3. “I love American Idol and I tape every single show. I enjoy cuddling up in bed with a glass of Chardonnay and watching the tapes in slow motion.”
  4. “Art is my life. I even married my wife because she looks like a 18th century gargoyle.”
  5. “My father plays in the NFL for the New England Patriots, Buffalo Bills or the Chicago Bears.”
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