My e-mail accounts in numbers

  1. Total of US $14 billion offered by 462 different African dictators or their wives, accountants or bank managers, simply because I’m supposedly an honest, God-fearing and handsome individual).
  2. Total of US $780 million won from different lottery organizations, including those from United Nations, Greenpeace and some guy called Devon (who accidentally also included his cell phone number to my great amusement for three weeks, before the number was finally cancelled).
  3. Total of US $25 million in free sample watches if I had first spent US $16 million buying genuine Rolex, Gucci and TAG Heuer replicas. The sum is a little bit low, as it doesn’t include the money that I would have lost if they had gotten got hold of my credit card number.
  4. Total of US $180 million in Viagra and Cialis “extra bonus” pills if I would have only spent US $102 million ordering pills within 24 hours. I calculate that if I had ordered the boner pills, and taken one every four hours, I would have had a hard-on until our sun turns into a Supernova. It would also have made my wife very tired and aggravated.
  5. Total of US $483 million in free software if I first would have spent US $80 million buying other illegal software that I would never have used either.Free money and value of products that I could have gained so far with some foresight: US $15,270 billion.
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