My Greatest Pains And Sufferings

  1. Spraining my ankle when running away from my friend’s crazy sister after burrying the head¬†that I had accidentally ripped off of her favorite stuffed animal. (1976)
  2. Tearing my anterior cruciate ligament. (2005)
  3. Seeing Quebec Nordiques being eliminated in the first round of the Stanley Cup playoffs. (1995)
  4. Losing all my collected filth and depravity in a hard drive crash. (1999)
  5. Seeing John Travolta bumbling his way through Battlefield Earth. (2000)
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