Potent phrases I don’t use often enough

  1. As affordable as a pint of spermicide.
  2. As dead as a robin hitting a milk truck driving at 140 mph.
  3. As rewarding as seeing a walrus humping one of the Olsen twins.
  4. As delicious as Yorkshire Terrier covered in bacon grease.
  5. As frisky as a coked up Lindsay Lohan on catnip.
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