Reasons why not to shop at Canadian Tire hardware

  1. Mastercraft screwdrivers only seem to be made out of hardened steel. In reality, they are made out of Aluminium, which has been painted to look like steel.
  2. Mastercraft power tools have very little power. Three asthmatic hamsters could easily be whipped into generating more energy than what it used for their circular saws.
  3. Mastercraft levels defy physics: that little air bubble never makes it to the centre mark. Not even if used on something installed according to NASA specifications.
  4. Mastercraft flashlights are as bright and reliable as lavalamps when you have to help the kids find that crooked Mastercraft hammer you gave to them as a joke.
  5. Mastercraft sales reps drive ice cream trucks when visiting Canadian Tire stores so they won’t get beaten up in the parking lots.
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