Russell Crowe and the phone-throwing incident

The famous actor has been quoted of saying that the phone-throwing incident would have been settled with a handshake in Australia. This made be think how it would be settled in other countries.

  1. Canada - It would’ve been settled with a case of beer and letting the abused party take a dump in your favorite touque. Definitely followed by a game of pick-up hockey.
  2. Germany - It would’ve been settled by cooking a meal consisting of pig’s knuckles and sauerkraut for the abused party. Perhaps followed by some gentle fisting.
  3. China - It would’ve been settled by letting the abused party light a firecracker under your foreskin. Most likely followed by some puppy meat dumplings.
  4. Finland - It would’ve been settled by washing the back of the abused party in a hot and steamy sauna. Probably followed with a couple of shots of Koskenkorva.
  5. Afghanistan - It would’ve been settled by letting the abused party shave your, and your sister’s facial hair. Of course followed by blowing up feeble-minded relatives with sticks of dynamite.
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