Signs that you are dealing with a discount escort

  1. Her knees look like they are covered in raw hamburger meat.
  2. Her name is Olga and she doesn’t know which country she is in.
  3. Instead of a thong she wears a McDonald’s Happy Meal bag.
  4. Her driver transports her in a shopping cart.
  5. In addition to ‘dancer’ and ‘masseuse’, she also lists ‘syphilis’ and ‘herpes’ on her business card.
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