Signs that your 18-year-old girlfriend is too young for you

  1. She bends down to tie her shoe laces – You wear slippers because your back stopped bending decades ago.
  2. She listens to music on her iPod – You hum polka tunes in your head.
  3. She needs sex once a day or she gets irritable – You need a bowel movement every day or you get irritable.
  4. She meets her friends at the mall every week – You meet your friends at the funeral home every week.
  5. She wears colourful hot and sexy outfits – You wear brown sweaty outfits.
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