- She bends down to tie her shoe laces – You wear slippers because your back stopped bending decades ago.
- She listens to music on her iPod – You hum polka tunes in your head.
- She needs sex once a day or she gets irritable – You need a bowel movement every day or you get irritable.
- She meets her friends at the mall every week – You meet your friends at the funeral home every week.
- She wears colourful hot and sexy outfits – You wear brown sweaty outfits.
