- You need help to build a scale model airplane – She needs help to bring together a dry meatloaf…
- You dream about warm cuddles and going to the amusement park – She dreams about being regular and going to the doctor to have her varicose veins dealt with…
- You can name every Nintendo character there is – She can name every joint pain remedy on the market…
- You think all her friends are “very nice” – She thinks all your friends are “cute”…
- You want to watch the scrambled porn channel – She wants to watch the Engelbert Humperdinck special on PBS…
- You lost a tooth while skateboarding last year – She lost her dentures on the bus last year…
- You can’t count the zits on your face – She can’t count the liver spots on her face…
- You wear your pants hanging down to your knees – She wears her nipple rings hanging down to her knees.
- You wake up and run downstairs on Christmas morning – She is surprised to wake up again and later falls downstairs on Christmas morning…
- You play with yourself in the shower – She needs help to get in to the shower…
