Simple ideas for how to freak out PETA members

  1. Lube up a finger while holding a pigeon.
  2. Make paella while meowing manically.
  3. Wear sideburns that resemble the tails of squirrels.
  4. Pet road kill while smiling.
  5. Cancel your PETA membership with the explanation that you have rediscovered the joys of kangaroo bow hunting.
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