Sony DSC-H9 camera review

Best features of the upcoming Sony Cyber-shot DSC-H9 super-zoom compact camera.

Nothing sucks about this digital camera! The words “great” or “amazing” doesn’t do the H9 justice – “otherworldly” is probably the most accurate definition. Read on:

  1. With almost the same picture quality as a digital SLR, but with the benefit that the Sony DSC-H9 can easily be hidden under your jacket, or towel, at the public pool, will make this camera a winner.
  2. The 15x optical Carl Zeiss Vario-Tessar 31-465mm (35mm equiv) zoom lens ensures that you are able to optically “sneak in on people”, instead of being too obvious with your privacy intrusions and ending up pummeled by an overprotective boyfriend or husband.
  3. Super Steady Shot® optical image stabilization will make sure that your nervously shaking and sweaty hands will not interfere with picture quality, when that once in a lifetime shot opportunity presents itself (hopefully with that one special female you have been stalking for months).
  4. The 8 MP (Mega Pixel) sensor will generate huge files that can be cropped for those seemingly perfect shot(s) for your website. Or you can use the whole file with all its incredible detail, to print photographs to satisfy even the most discerning pervert.
  5. It also features an impressive top of the line 3-inch, bright, back LSD display that swivels to any angle! No longer do you need to be obvious in public when getting that special shot that can only be had from that one (unnatural) angle, and body position.
  6. This camera will be the only one in this year’s Cyber-shot lineup to feature Sony’s NightShot® technology, which enables you to take photographs in environments with virtually no light and without using a flash! This feature should open up all kinds of possibilities for the “Tricky Dicky” shooter.
  7. The Sony DSC-H9 features Sony’s high-end Bionz® processing engine, which enables you to burst-shoot at more than 2.2 fps (frames per second) – indefinitely - and at any resolution! Only your camera’s memory card is the limitation for how many pictures can be captured this way. You can easily shoot hundreds of pictures before people realize what you are upto…
  8. The top of the line 8 GB DUO PRO® Media stick comes with enough storage space to keep you shooting until the cows come home (or until you wife goes to see her mother-in-law for the weekend). This optional DUO PRO® Media will also enable to shoot MPEG VX Fine with Audio (640×480 at 30fps) movies, for those times when sporting a camcorder could result in a deadly beating (or getting you arrested).
  9. The Sony DSC-H9 automatically measures auto-focus precision at 9 points on your screen. With the incorporated face recognition technology you will be able to get that perfect shot when drunk or stoned out of your mind (or when shooting from the hip when you are scared for your life). All this goodness, and also high shutter speed (1/4000 sec.) combined with intelligent continuous AF that responds more quickly to rapid motion. Essentially: if you see it… the Sony H9 camera will capture it… and more so!
  10. Battery life: A fully charged NP-BG1 Lithium Ion battery should last for around 250 shots of mixed shooting. As with all digital cameras, a spare battery will ensure that you don’t have to cry yourself to sleep at night when those one-in-a-million public fornication shots were there for the taking, and you were out of juice.

With an estimated list price of only $480 for all of this goodness, and what thrifty shoppers will be able to get it for online… I predict it to be the winner and Camera of The Year 2007!

The Sony DSC-H9: 10 out of 10 Beers.

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