Spice Girls world tour coverage that I hope to see

  1. Baby Spice doesn’t realize that her surgically enhanced lips makes her drool while lip syncing and always ends up with a wet t-shirt. In Hong Kong, fans demand that she gets savagely caned for it…
  2. Scary Spice’s bra explodes and her tits sag down to her hairy belly button, which makes some Argentinean fans choke on their glow sticks.
  3. Sporty Spice tries to desperately get noticed by bench-pressing a really fat Roadie. A few German fans confuse her with David Hasselhoff and she gets a some mercy applause.
  4. Ginger Spice gets eaten by a pack of rabid Chinese fans, and nobody misses her until they get back to the UK.
  5. Spanish fans come to realize that Posh Spice has passed three baby’s through her vagina, and complain that her dance moves seem more than a tad stifled and impersonal.
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