Things I would be able to do if I were Rosie O’Donnell

  1. Sit down on and crush pizza boxes and beer cans.
  2. Sit down on a garden gnome and be pleasantly surprised.
  3. Sit down on and suffocate a deer or a large dog.
  4. Sit down on and enjoy the sharp tongue of an angry lesbian.
  5. Sit down on a bidet and wash my Donald Trump.
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