Things I’m not proud of at all

  1. Accident involving some inappropriate printed material and getting “Mini-Me” caught in the zipper when trying to “wrap things up” all too quickly.
  2. Slipping that one anchovy in to the very handsome but drunken “has-it-all’s” breast pocket in the mensroom at a graduation dance.
  3. All the times during coed basketball when I “accidentally” and “completely” misplayed my blocks on that pretty and buxom 5 ft. 2 in. girl that smelled like lavender.
  4. Funny prank involving: epoxy, a plastic pink flamingo and the hood of one of my friend’s car - thought up and executed while in a moonshine induced haze.
  5. Posting this thing.
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