Things that can’t be done discreetly

  1. Sitting down on a hedge trimmer.
  2. Riding an angry bull.
  3. Vomiting.
  4. Getting eaten by a shark.
  5. Tearing your anterior cruciate ligament when falling off a high ladder on to some unfinished stairs, with screws and nails sticking out of the planks. Especially when you don’t have any shoes on even though your wife has nagged you for hours to put some on…
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