Things that would make me very afraid

  1. Catching myself smiling and singing along to an upbeat country music tune featuring banjos and yodeling.
  2. Finding a post-it note on my desk, with a phone number, a lot of exclamation marks and skulls scribbled on to it, and not remember having penned it down.
  3. Opening the toolbox and finding a bloodied hammer and not remembering when I last hurt myself.
  4. Lying in my bed panting after having fried and eaten a pound of bacon that was 3 years passed the best before date.
  5. Passing out on the couch and waking up to a George W. Bush speech and hearing the words: Ooops, Nucular and 3 minutes.
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