Things you don’t want to hear from your buddy

  1. “You can’t date my sister because she is currently suffering from Ebola.”
  2. “No, I have never consciously pulled your penis when you have been sleeping.”
  3. “Which of my ends smelled the worst?”
  4. “Thailand? Nah, let’s do a southern hoedown tour instead.”
  5. “I have never seen your wife naked; I just assumed that she had space shuttle-shaped birthmark on her left buttock.”
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