Things you might read in a letter from an Inuit pen pal

  1. We went seal clubbing over the weekend, and I got to eat a piece of the liver and some eyeballs.
  2. I’m happy today as we are finally getting a second TV channel, and the coolest part is that it will be broadcasting dog shows 24 hours a day!
  3. Good news! The bully I told you about had a snowmobile accident and got eaten by a polar bear.
  4. Shcccolly not writing ass mush ass I haav discoveded glue.
  5. My uncle Amorak found a bottle of vodka and now our whole village has been drunk and knife-fighting for the last couple of days.
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