Valentine’s Day sex


Depending on your budget and level of desperation, Valentine’s Day is the yearly exchange of…

  1. Longtime guilt for sex…
  2. Cringe worthy and cliched Hallmark card for sex…
  3. Ridiculously cute stuffed animal holding a heart for sex…
  4. Overpriced Belgium chocolate for sex…
  5. Fresh-cut flowers (that would have been cheaper to replace with roofies) for sex…
  6. Very sheer and deliciously slutty lingerie for sex…
  7. Perfume that one of your memorable ex-girlfriends used to wear for sex…
  8. Cocktails, dinner, wine, champagne and more cocktails for sex…
  9. High-end jewelry or pathetically sentimental silver jewelry for sex…
  10. All of the above for really nasty sex…
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