Ways to answer those annoying “wrong number” calls

  1. “I hate to tell you; grandpa was jailed last month for molesting pieces of fruit.”
  2. “Ok, that will be $19.57… We can also have everyone here spit on your pizzas for an additional charge of only $2.00.”
  3. “She can’t take your call right now as she’s in the bathroom with brutal diarrhea.”
  4. “You didn’t hear? Dad was maimed by a giant panda yesterday morning!”
  5. “I’m sorry, Steve is not here right now – he’s down at the clinic getting his weekly syphilis shots.”
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