- “I hate to tell you; grandpa was jailed last month for molesting pieces of fruit.”
- “Ok, that will be $19.57… We can also have everyone here spit on your pizzas for an additional charge of only $2.00.”
- “She can’t take your call right now as she’s in the bathroom with brutal diarrhea.”
- “You didn’t hear? Dad was maimed by a giant panda yesterday morning!”
- “I’m sorry, Steve is not here right now – he’s down at the clinic getting his weekly syphilis shots.”
