What not to do when drunk out of your mind

  1. Start a home renovation project.
  2. Paint cool flames on your minivan using leftover aerosol cans.
  3. Chop firewood out of your neighbor’s 80 ft. tall Silver Maple.
  4. Try to figure out a way to sharpen the lawnmower while it’s running.
  5. Dress up in your sexy Halloween outfit and go trick-or-treating — in April.
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