What the Vatican missed when updating its thou-shalt-not list

  1. Thou shalt not unzip until you are actually inside the goddamned washroom at a McDonald’s, when kids are around.
  2. Thou shalt not cry like a school girl when mugged of your iPhone when looking at pictures of friends that aren’t really yours.
  3. Thou shalt not be a flame and wear Maroon 5 t-shirts, socks or caps to a biker bar, unless you are looking to get your ass kicked.
  4. Thou shalt not be shocked and dismayed when your redneck butt ends up on YouTube if you have sex with wildlife, in public.
  5. Thou shalt not become a priest simply to have easy access to innocent children and feeble-minded people.
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