- “I plan to assassinate Obama in 2008.”
- “Yes, it was me who kicked your grandma down the stairs, you cross-eyed little fruit.”
- “I went down on Pee-wee Herman during a screening of Star Wars: Episode I: The Phantom Menace.”
- “Every week I eat fried pork rinds and watch ‘Dancing With The Stars.’”
- “I lost my dentures inside Donald Trump’s arse. Please, would you help me find them?”
