Why joining the army sucks dinosaur balls

  1. People might end up shooting at you.
  2. You might have to shoot in the general direction of other people.
  3. There are no “5 lives”, or “wait 30 seconds” to fight again.
  4. Undue pressure of sharing your last smoke in an unnamed trench with a complete dweeb.
  5. Very few silk thongs and bras around.
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