Why the CFL game is better than the NFL game

  1. CFL has only 3 downs, which speeds up the game.
  2. CFL field is longer so you can’t have a bunch of anabolic lard-asses on your team; meaning, athleticism is more important than body mass.
  3. CFL fans are tougher – face and body paint is only a big deal if frosty nipples are a part of the equation.
  4. CLF commentators aren’t all retired football players, and wannabees with¬†over-gelled hairdos that are more interested in talking about their hemorrhoids, celebrity dates and warts than the game.
  5. CFL cheerleaders provide lap dances at the local strip club after the game.
  6. CFL hotdogs are simply hotter and if you pay a ‘little extra’ you get to pick the breed of your dog.
  7. CFL arenas serve real beer.
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