- CFL has only 3 downs, which speeds up the game.
- CFL field is longer so you can’t have a bunch of anabolic lard-asses on your team; meaning, athleticism is more important than body mass.
- CFL fans are tougher – face and body paint is only a big deal if frosty nipples are a part of the equation.
- CLF commentators aren’t all retired football players, and wannabees with over-gelled hairdos that are more interested in talking about their hemorrhoids, celebrity dates and warts than the game.
- CFL cheerleaders provide lap dances at the local strip club after the game.
- CFL hotdogs are simply hotter and if you pay a ‘little extra’ you get to pick the breed of your dog.
- CFL arenas serve real beer.
