Worst things about being Santa Claus

  1. Diarrhea from milk at room temperature and bran cookies.
  2. Finding comfortable underwear.
  3. Getting out of uncomfortable underwear in order to crap in the sleigh, especially when flying over Antarctica.
  4. Pressure of not making a suspicious turn when being tracked by NORAD (especially when crapping in the sleigh).
  5. Watching Mrs. Claus flogging elves who refuse to clean the sleigh.
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