- Personal Assistant waiting to do something meaningful, but whose primary duties so far has been to say “mister” (“missus”) and to have a warm and encouraging smile plastered on their face at all times: (3%)
- Rent, lattes, over-priced designer clothes, and frilly drinks for people that “just love” the performance in that movie that nobody really saw: (52%)
- Union fees and magazine subscriptions for crappy publications that will only come in handy as “research material” if they ever get offered a supporting role in a movie staring Tom Hanks: (4%)
- Condoms for A-List actors and actresses who are too drunk to find their own stash when they “need to do” that skinny but hot waitress or waiter: (1%)
- Replacing broken furniture, telephones and bathroom fixtures when “having to” drag home Russell Crowe, Leonardo DiCaprio or George Clooney for an after-party: (12%)
- Flowers, chocolates, stuffed animals and show tickets to keep “no-name” celebrity gossipers (almost like real reporters) from calling them a cheap-talentless-2-by-4: (19%)
- Talent agency who hasn’t done very-much-more than to find producers and directors who are willing to give out roles for depraved sexual favors: (16%)
- Well-covered charity events and contributions (minus tax write-offs): (0.02%)
- Coke for people that are or who want to be their friend: (7%)
- Savings for that day when people realize that they are as easily replaced as a caterer: (-30.02%)
