You will never ever know

  1. If a leper has licked the green peppers you bought at the grocery store.
  2. If it was a dog that dug up your rose bush and took a dump on your front lawn.
  3. If your seat at the movie theatre was previously occupied by Paris Hilton.
  4. If the dollar bills in your kid’s piggy banks has been in a stripper’s thong.
  5. If a person has lost a finger in the blender you bought at the garage sale.
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